Hello.
Welcome back to the adventure.
If you’re just joining in you should know that Irene and Spatula are on a mission to civilize Earth.
Oh yeah, along with Special Agent Sockenpowder.
Who spent the first week of the journey sitting by a communications panel. He barely grunted when Spatula told the story.
‘The Darangula is the most fearsome weapon in the human arsenal. She’s a one woman army. With Crumnuntical Flails protruding from her torso. And one of her arms is a steel Grappling Squid. Plus she never goes rusty. We should turn back.’
‘That’s terrifying’, noted Irene, ‘will she be there when we arrive?’
Spatula winked, tapped his forehead, and pointed to Sockenpowder. Irene shrugged. Spatula leaned towards her and whispered.
‘Can’t ya tell I’m trying to convince that muppet to bring us back hom…’
He was distracted by an incoming signal.
Sockenpowder leapt up and saluted the com panel. He then flicked a switch.
‘Special Agent Sockenpowder reporting’, he announced.
‘Sir’, interrupted Irene, ‘that signal can only have come from Earth, we may have lost the element of surprise.’
Sockenpowder’s face reddened, frowned, and then beamed happily.
‘Nonsense Irene. I’ve been studying humans, and they frequently use a devious technique called lying. It alters the recipient’s perception of the Universe using words alone. And I’m about to give those humans a taste of their own medicine.’
He flicked the switch again.
‘Attention humans. I am not Collective Special Agent Sockenpowder, and I’m not on a mission to Earth.’
Sockenpowder grinned with pride.
‘That was the first time any member of the Collective has been able to deploy a lie.’
‘Brilliant work Sir’, noted Irene, ‘but will the Darangula still be there when we arrive?’
Agent Spatula covered his face with his hands.
‘Possibly’, he muttered.
An Roinn Ultra - Irish Science Fiction 