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The Turd Prophecy

The true story of how Faf, Pa, Martina, Kevin, Sandra, and Billy ‘The Rant’ (and to a lesser extent Gerry McLaughlin) saved humanity from annihilation. Summary taken from the Indie Corner review by author Brendan Gavin (all podcast links below): The Turd Prophecy of Hybobolus Clune is like Half-Baked meets Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, […]

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Say nothing, and keep saying it

‘…and that thing said our species was too weak to bother destroying. Must’ve been twenty years ago …I mean, uh, I dunno how you measure time. A long time ago anyway.’ ‘WHAT WAS IT LIKE?’ ‘Like you are, only bigger, and, uh, I suppose, erm, better.’ ‘GARBANDULLAH, IT MUST’VE BEEN GARBANDULLAH …I’M EVERY BIT AS […]

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The left shoe of dignity

‘This Flombosteron. Is the most. Jumbaliant Gnongoolian. Alive. Please remove. Your left shoe.’ ‘No offence Barnstangle, but your idea of demonstrating honour is plain daft’ ‘You are human in assuming so Henry. But. I’m afraid. Gnongoolian honour. Respects life. Our galactic council. Has noted. 5348 innocent human females. Were butchered. To demonstrate honour. During the […]

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How to fool Zomboonicans

Astronaut Chuz Rontalplek ducked into the narrow cave, Jasper and Frangle Zomboonic were too big to fit. ‘Come out human’, they yelled. ‘No. Ye’ll eat me.’ ‘We will, but your only other option is to live out life in that dark cave’, explained Jasper. ‘…and it’s crawling with Marmstickles and Chugflankers.’ Added Frangle ‘Well, erm, […]

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One space creature’s luxury is another space creature’s lowly hovel

Human Ambassador Coldoon Zumpleflong had spared nothing in his attempt to impress the Klongin representative: Floral wallpaper  Doyley for each teacup Gold Chairs Fancy cakes A lifesize statue of Terry Wogan. ‘Tea?’ he asked, extending a hand towards the Klongin. -‘Retract your hygienic appendage, this place disgusts me‘, came the reply. Zumpleflong protested: ‘But why?, […]

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Time to wake up

Deep Space Vehicle process T467581 woke Tom Staunton from cryosleep, and activated its audio sequence. ‘Hello Tom, welcome to Alpha Centauri. We encountered sixteen issues en-route, and all other crew are deceased. We make planetfall in nine hours. And you are the last human.’ ‘Come again?’ ‘Nine hours.’ ‘No, the last human thing.’ ‘Conflict and […]

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Chronscast Episode 8 – Inish Carraig with Naomi Foyle! — This Literature Life

Joining us this month is poet and novelist Naomi Foyle Jo Zebedee’s alien invasion-cum-prison break thriller Inish Carraig https://anchor.fm/s/70475b38/podcast/rss This month we’re joined by the award-winning British-Canadian author, poet and essayist Naomi Foyle, to talk about Inish Carraig, the alien-invasion-cum-prison break thriller by one of the friends of Chronscast, Jo Zebedee. Among the topics we […] […]

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The ballad of Ronan Spuddlehop

It should’ve been ironic that Hydrologist Ronan Spuddlehop planned to throw himself to his death from the summit waterfall of Sheanpollineasp. Only irony doesn’t exist on Sheanpollineasp. But magic does. Rain began to fall as the water spoke: ‘don’t end things like this’, it said. Ronan turned to leave. ‘Wise choice‘, gurgled the torrent. It […]

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A kick in the Runticles

This story was published here last year as ‘Rosie Scundelboth’s problem with the postal service’, but the key message is probably a toe in the bollox so I renamed it. And turned it into an audio clip. The idea is sort of along the lines of live storytelling …like the old style Seanachai, only a […]

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