‘…and that thing said our species was too weak to bother destroying. Must’ve been twenty years ago …I mean, uh, I dunno how you measure time. A long time ago anyway.’ ‘WHAT WAS IT LIKE?’ ‘Like you are, only bigger, and, uh, I suppose, erm, better.’ ‘GARBANDULLAH, IT MUST’VE BEEN GARBANDULLAH …I’M EVERY BIT AS […]

‘This Flombosteron. Is the most. Jumbaliant Gnongoolian. Alive. Please remove. Your left shoe.’ ‘No offence Barnstangle, but your idea of demonstrating honour is plain daft’ ‘You are human in assuming so Henry. But. I’m afraid. Gnongoolian honour. Respects life. Our galactic council. Has noted. 5348 innocent human females. Were butchered. To demonstrate honour. During the […]

Astronaut Chuz Rontalplek ducked into the narrow cave, Jasper and Frangle Zomboonic were too big to fit. ‘Come out human’, they yelled. ‘No. Ye’ll eat me.’ ‘We will, but your only other option is to live out life in that dark cave’, explained Jasper. ‘…and it’s crawling with Marmstickles and Chugflankers.’ Added Frangle ‘Well, erm, […]

‘Open the cargo doors Beatrice, I’m after robbing the Martian time machine.’ ‘You mean the device that will allow us travel back to a point before Martians used their doomsday ray to destroy Earth Gerry?’ ‘Why the fiddlesticks would you ask something like that? Are you some kind of plot device?’ ‘No. And as one […]

Zalderbon Bongodrick of the Intergalactic Police Force explained: ‘A backwater Sheriff like me needs to relax. To turn a blind eye to some things. But your species, and you in particular, are taking the piss -war is illegal.’ Vladimir Pontin shifted uneasily in his chair onboard the orbital paddy-wagon: ‘But I only stepped out to […]

Human Ambassador Coldoon Zumpleflong had spared nothing in his attempt to impress the Klongin representative: Floral wallpaper  Doyley for each teacup Gold Chairs Fancy cakes A lifesize statue of Terry Wogan. ‘Tea?’ he asked, extending a hand towards the Klongin. -‘Retract your hygienic appendage, this place disgusts me‘, came the reply. Zumpleflong protested: ‘But why?, […]

Deep Space Vehicle process T467581 woke Tom Staunton from cryosleep, and activated its audio sequence. ‘Hello Tom, welcome to Alpha Centauri. We encountered sixteen issues en-route, and all other crew are deceased. We make planetfall in nine hours. And you are the last human.’ ‘Come again?’ ‘Nine hours.’ ‘No, the last human thing.’ ‘Conflict and […]

Joining us this month is poet and novelist Naomi Foyle Jo Zebedee’s alien invasion-cum-prison break thriller Inish Carraig https://anchor.fm/s/70475b38/podcast/rss This month we’re joined by the award-winning British-Canadian author, poet and essayist Naomi Foyle, to talk about Inish Carraig, the alien-invasion-cum-prison break thriller by one of the friends of Chronscast, Jo Zebedee. Among the topics we […] […]

It should’ve been ironic that Hydrologist Ronan Spuddlehop planned to throw himself to his death from the summit waterfall of Sheanpollineasp. Only irony doesn’t exist on Sheanpollineasp. But magic does. Rain began to fall as the water spoke: ‘don’t end things like this’, it said. Ronan turned to leave. ‘Wise choice‘, gurgled the torrent. It […]

This story was published here last year as ‘Rosie Scundelboth’s problem with the postal service’, but the key message is probably a toe in the bollox so I renamed it. And turned it into an audio clip. The idea is sort of along the lines of live storytelling …like the old style Seanachai, only a […]