‘I’m sick of humans’, I said. And I was. Stupid animals. No two ever see the same thing. Anyways -I’m a robodetective. And a damn good one. Not like the two humans I sent on the stakeout. ‘Let’s try again, when did ye see the suspect?’ ‘Eleven‘, answered one. ‘Wrong, half ten; I’ll never forget […]

Zork Conglebonsch was a contrarian. He joined Spittletattle to let others know. Tragedy at sea: Fishermen die as mutant shark swallows entire boat, announced one post. ‘Serves the fools right for going to sea’, typed Zork. Boy dies in mountain lion attack, announced another post. ‘Serves him right for going into the mountains’, tut-tapped Zork. […]

Shannon Gogarsneacht always gets what she wants. ‘Relinquish your riches‘, ordered the robot. Shannon was furious. Not just at being mugged by a robot. She was also four feet tall. Which came as a disappointment. And I got the blame. ‘I’ll leave this story unless ya triple my height’, she’d threatened. ‘And make me out […]

‘I wouldn’t have panicked, it’s four millimeters in diameter …and 1.5 billion miles away.’ Ignatius Headsmash stared blankly up at the Chief Astronomer. ‘Could happen to a bishop Naty …ya forgot to carry the remainder.’ Nine minutes had passed since Ignatius crashed his Jetbike straight in the Observatory door. He spent those minutes lying dazed […]

MINDFULNESS thru IRISH SCIENCE FICTION. A 60 second course. LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, and The South Sligo Jet-Bus Service …a future bus driver puts things in perspective.

http://www.anchor.fm/sffchronscast On this episode of Chronscast we’re joined by award-winning SF author Tade Thompson to talk about WATCHMEN, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’s comic-book masterpiece that skewers the superhero genre using its own architecture. Tade is the author of numerous novels, including the critically acclaimed sci-fi novel Rosewater, the first in his award winning WORMWOOD TRILOGY, Making Wolf, […] […]

‘Condor egg omelette?‘ Ronan Smunt’s words stunned Mindongula Skebobble.Her cafeteria abutting the Universe proudly served anything.That day saw 134 remarkable orders. Such as: ‘Tannhäuser duck?‘ ‘Sure.’ ‘Hallibalubelberry smoothie with crumbdingles?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Bothan stew?’ ‘Plain or bestangled?’ Of the 857,634 diners that visited, 857,634 had tried ordering something Mindongula didn’t serve. And 857,634 left with full […]

Guinan’s eyes widened as Miles explained. She always wanted to study engineering, but just couldn’t grasp the terminology. ‘Think of duterium as canned dog food, dilithium crystals as a can opener, and antimatter as a Jack Russell Terrier.’ Guinan smiled as Miles took another gulp of space grog. ‘Now, imagine the Universe as a football […]

‘Andromedan shopping centers have incredible escalators.’ Raja woke bleeding. Something must’ve gone wrong with the hyperdrive. ‘Each step’s a different colour, spent my childhood on those escalators.’ Raja tried standing. ‘Did our ship make the jump?’, he asked. ‘I miss Andromeda …sorry Raj, what?’ ‘Did we hit lightspeed?’ ‘No idea, I was just reminiscing about […]

Jetbus Driver Abslod Funkelveldt switched on the autopilot and turned to his Conductor. ‘Ya know Seamus, human existence is an incomprehensible nothing in a vast and mostly empty cosmos.’ ‘Steady on Abslod, there’s such a thing as too much perspective -just focus on what’s in front of you.’ Abslod nodded, and switched off the autopilot. […]