A kick in the Tabernackle

I was in the Tabernackle once.It was the night before the EDM race.I was with Taz and Bungalow.​ Only the stone Gorbandula saw us creep into that holy place.‘No good will come of this,’ it’d growled when I handed Taz and Bungalow glowshrooms.‘Ah, shut your rock hole’, I’d replied. That kind of comment could get […]

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A night at the cinema

Meursault Bungalow was feeling down He’d just received the death sentence It was the talk of New Kinnegad ‘Well, I don’t care what people say I think he’s an innocent man,’ ‘Think what you like, I know a murderer when I hear scandalous information third hand.’ ‘What information?’ ‘He went to the cinema to watch […]

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The Turd Prophecy on Audible

Is it a code? Some sort of newly discovered language? No, and no. Just a post to say ‘The Turd Prophecy’ (of Hybobolus Clune) is now available on Audible. I reckon this is my favourite publishing method (even though it’s a robot corporation). Lots to learn for next time round. Though this one should do […]

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The incredible filmmaking of Brack Bongalongalong

Galactic film executive Chug Zapamovieon had been delighted. Convincing acclaimed director Brack Bongalongalong to work with him was a remarkable feat. But then art took over. And things started to go wrong: ‘It’s trditional Martian practice to eat their offspring when threatened’, explained Brack, ‘to prevent invaders enslaving them.’ ‘Yes, but six hours of footage? […]

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The legend of Commander Fidelma Gungbellow

The three astronauts began to accelerate. Their rocketship broken and useless. Captured by Spondle’s gravity. A fiery death awaited. They had nothing left but conversation. ‘It was a privilege to have crewed for Commander Gungbellow.’ ‘Whadya mean Gil? This is all her fault.’ ‘Nobody’s perfect Charlie.’ ‘Perfect?, she was an idiot …we’re just gonna slingshot […]

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The Ballonnicles of Flimp

The Ballonnicles of Flimp Galactic explorer Brag Armstrong was feeling happy. Flimp was his third planet of the morning. And he’d only had to discharge his blaster twice that day. ‘Tell me something about the inhabitants here’, he ordered Winglezub, his trusty sidekick/ cultural advisor. ‘The Ballonnicles?, not much to say, except that they are […]

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The style of Bubbalong Jetpack

Addictaclick CEO Bubbalong Jetpack gestured angrily at a projection of employees on his office holoviewer. ‘Why is that woman wearing a suit?’ ‘Probably because she wanted to. You told me to tell staff they are free to dress however they like. To show the world that Addictaclick is open and progressive‘ reminded his Roboassistant. ‘I […]

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Why I HATE writing fantasy stories

Hobadink Gobblewacker is the reason I hate writing fantasy stories. He ruled Oolanyeasp for three hundred years. With rigid instructions dispatched from his Ivory Tower. Everything had to be neat and tidy. Forestry, for example, had to be: Evenly planted Trunks uniform and round No branches Harvested regularly So it was. Until I made him […]

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