Alfie Bardle’s World of Alternative Engineering

Druff Zontelback was surprised at the speed of the tow truck. It had taken exactly eleven seconds to travel the seven miles from his remote mountain breakdown to Alfie Bardle’s workshop. He was even more surprised to discover that Alfie kept no tools or hoists in the workshop. In their stead was a feathered headdress, and a heavy scent of Incense.
However, Druff’s most surprised state was unleashed when Alfie donned the headdress, and danced slowly around the car.
Five minutes of dancing passed before Alfie spoke:
‘Your car is out of alignment with the cosmos’, Alfie said, and shook his head sadly, ‘I’m afraid it is severely depressed Mr. Zontelback. In fact, I hate to say it, but this is the worst case of vehicular melancholy I have ever encountered. And I have been practicing alternative engineering for three decades.’