One space creature’s luxury is another space creature’s lowly hovel

Human Ambassador Coldoon Zumpleflong had spared nothing in his attempt to impress the Klongin representative:

  • Floral wallpaper 
  • Doyley for each teacup
  • Gold Chairs
  • Fancy cakes
  • A lifesize statue of Terry Wogan.

‘Tea?’ he asked, extending a hand towards the Klongin.

-‘Retract your hygienic appendage, this place disgusts me‘, came the reply.

Zumpleflong protested: ‘But why?, it’s identical to the place I visited on the Klongin homeworld.’

-‘Bedack human! That was when we hosted you.’

‘Apologies, what did you expect?’

-‘Cups of armpit sweat, a septic tank …at the very least you could’ve greeted me with a kick in the thurible.’