Human Ambassador Coldoon Zumpleflong had spared nothing in his attempt to impress the Klongin representative:
- Floral wallpaper
- Doyley for each teacup
- Gold Chairs
- Fancy cakes
- A lifesize statue of Terry Wogan.
‘Tea?’ he asked, extending a hand towards the Klongin.
-‘Retract your hygienic appendage, this place disgusts me‘, came the reply.
Zumpleflong protested: ‘But why?, it’s identical to the place I visited on the Klongin homeworld.’
-‘Bedack human! That was when we hosted you.’
‘Apologies, what did you expect?’
-‘Cups of armpit sweat, a septic tank …at the very least you could’ve greeted me with a kick in the thurible.’
An Roinn Ultra - The Irish Department of Science Fiction 