Jemima Tophat

‘Tetchy tall tale’ is what Jemima used to be known as.
And, in a way, it used to be true. At one stage she had 59687 followers on the Friendlyface media platform, and the same amount on Spongle.

Back then a day on Earth consisted of twenty four hours -‘tetchy tall tale’ was spending twenty of those hours on Friendlyface.

59686 of her followers were there to mock and ridicule her.

The management of Friendlyface went to great length to facilitate this, and it became a very lucrative thing. So much so that the owner was able to buy another house (leaving him with 142 spare, should the need arise).

The ‘tall tale’ nickname came from the habit Jemima had of exaggerating. There was no subject that she wasn’t an expert on. And the more outlandish it was, the more she knew about it.
Take alien abduction. Not only had Jemima been abducted multiple times, but she had also apparently single handedly defeated several extraterrestrial invasions. Using her martial arts skills.

Social media gave her an opportunity to broadcast these feats to a wide audience. And the wide audience reciprocated. Mostly by mocking her intelligence and appearance. Some of the more creative reciprocaters felt compelled to advise her to kill herself.

It got to the point that the management of Friendlyface decided to intervene, and made a pledge to stop the insults.
– Nobody was quite sure what the pledge looked like.
– Or where they stored it.
– But, in the case of Jemima, it was never needed.

As it happened, one of the followers of her tales of derring do was a recruiter for the Zardonian army. Jemima’s antics were just what they needed.

Jemima Tophat is now a member of the Zardonian ghost battalion. There is a saying on Zardonia; ‘if you know anything more than the name ghost battalion, then you are already dead.’

This may or may not be true.
But.
If you ever find yourself on Zardonia, don’t mention Jemima Tophat -just to be on the safe side.