‘A Martian Galleon laden with Lanthanum you say? Do you have a bearing?’

‘Yes Captain. 400,000 km off the port bow.’

‘Excellent Quartermaster, ready the Tetryon Cannon, arm the Phaser Array, and hoist the Jolly Roger.’

‘Hmmmh.’

‘What?’

‘Erm…’

‘Spit it out man.’

‘Well. Pirate life is short and brutal. Why don’t we just enjoy each other’s company?’

‘You’re right, life as a buccaneer is short and brutal.’

‘I’m glad you agree.’

‘I absolutely do, now fetch the Botswain and tell him to hack you to death. But make sure that other stuff I asked for is done first.’